>my face when Americans call chips “french fries”>my face when Americans call crisps “chips”>my face when Americans call lifts “elevators”>my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars”>my face when Americans call merry fizzlebombs “fireworks”>my face when Americans call wunderbahboxes a “computer”>my face when Americans call meat water “gravy”>my face when Americans call electro-rope “power cables”>my face when Americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a “burger”>my face when Americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblies “pens”>my face when Americans call twisting plankhandles “doorknobs”>my face when Americans call breaddystack a “sandwich”>my face when Americans call their hoghity toghity tippy typers “keyboards”>my face when Americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “PB&J”>my face when Americans call an upsy stairsy an “escalator”>my face when Americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a “sweater”>my face when Americans call a rickity-pop a “gear shift”>my face when Americans call a choco chip bucky wicky a “cookie”>my face when Americans call peepee friction pleasure “sex”>my face when Americans call a pip pip gollywock a “screwdriver”>my face when Americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun” >my face when Americans call ceiling-bright a “lightbulb”>my face when Americans call blimpy bounce bounce a “ball”>my face when Americans call a slippery dippery long reppy a “snake”>my face when Americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops “roads”

>my face when Americans call chips “french fries”
>my face when Americans call crisps “chips”
>my face when Americans call lifts “elevators”
>my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars”
>my face when Americans call merry fizzlebombs “fireworks”
>my face when Americans call wunderbahboxes a “computer”
>my face when Americans call meat water “gravy”
>my face when Americans call electro-rope “power cables”
>my face when Americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a “burger”
>my face when Americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblies “pens”
>my face when Americans call twisting plankhandles “doorknobs”
>my face when Americans call breaddystack a “sandwich”
>my face when Americans call their hoghity toghity tippy typers “keyboards”
>my face when Americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “PB&J”
>my face when Americans call an upsy stairsy an “escalator”
>my face when Americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a “sweater”
>my face when Americans call a rickity-pop a “gear shift”
>my face when Americans call a choco chip bucky wicky a “cookie”
>my face when Americans call peepee friction pleasure “sex”
>my face when Americans call a pip pip gollywock a “screwdriver”
>my face when Americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun” 
>my face when Americans call ceiling-bright a “lightbulb”
>my face when Americans call blimpy bounce bounce a “ball”
>my face when Americans call a slippery dippery long reppy a “snake”
>my face when Americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops “roads”

bekutaa:

xekstrin:

THE LITERAL BEST COMIC IVE EVER READ IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

THE FORESHADOWING OMG

myselfisme:

Don’t Say “That’s So Gay” Campaign (Wanda Sykes) [ x ]

How about a round of applause.

filthy-hippie-vibes:

intergalacticsloth:

askerenjaegerisfuckingawesome:

tennants-hair:

VIVA LA PLUTO MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

DO YOU SEE THIS? DO YOU? ALL OF YOU WHO HAD WRITTEN OFF PLUTO, WHO HAD CROSSED IT OFF YOUR PLANET LIST? REMEMBER HOW IT WAS ‘TOO SMALL” TO BE A PLANET? HOW NASA, IN COLLABORATION WITH THE INTERNATIONAL ASTRONOMICAL UNION REMOVED ITS PLANETARY STATUS AND  CHANGED ITS NAME TO 134340? HOW EVERYONE THEN CONSIDERED THERE TO BE EIGHT PLANETS, NOT NINE?

BUT SOME OF US REMAINED LOYAL TO PLUTO. IT WAS NEVER FORGOTTEN. AND NOW HERE WE ARE, AND JUSTICE IS UPON US AFTER 8 YEARS.

BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? PLUTO HAS AT LEAST FIVE MOONS, A PRETTY BIG NUMBER FOR A ”DWARF-PLANET”, HUH? ESPECIALLY WHEN EARTH, QUITE BIGGER THAN PLUTO AND AN OFFICIAL PLANET ONLY HAS ONE. AND GUESS WHAT ELSE? ERIS, THE PLANET WHICH EVERYONE THOUGHT TO BE BIGGER THAN PLUTO, MAY NOT BE BIGGER AFTER ALL. AND THE BEST PART IS THAT PLUTO HAS AN ATMOSHPERE. THAT’S RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A SUPPOSEDLY NON-PLANET HAS AN ATMOSPHERE. AGAIN, ISN’T THAT IMPRESSIVE?

SO LOOK AT THIS. NEW FINDINGS, AND A NEW AGE FOR PLUTO. AN AGE OF RECOGNITION AND APPRECIATION. AND ALLOW ME TO CLOSE THIS -somewhat aggressive-PRESENTATION OF OPINION WITH THE MOTTO OF THE PLUTO APOLOGISTS: VIVA LA PLUTO!

Get “Viva la Pluto” to be a trending tag

The Pluto fandom doesn’t fuck around

Why must they fuck with our emotions like this!?

queeraddictedto:

thedoctor-hasmysoul:

night-vale-secretpolice:

night-vale-secretpolice:

When I used to think about Voldemort’s horcruxes I imagined a soul divided in equal portions residing in the different horcruxes and Voldemort himself. I realised that this can’t be true in The Half-Blood Prince Slughorn describes making a horcrux as splitting ones soul in two. This means that when Riddle made his Diary into a horcrux he split his soul in half and physically removed one half from his body and placed it in the diary. This means that he only had half of his soul left when he made his next horcrux, Marvolo’s ring. This half would have been split in half leaving only a quarter in Voldemort’s body. This goes on and on the amount of soul remaining in Voldemort halving each time he makes a horcrux until he had only 1/128 or 0.78125% left in his body.  As shown in the graph above.  So next time you wonder why Voldemort could have done some of things he did, remember how little human he had left in him. I don’t know about you but I think that this is crazy.

Come on guys, I didn’t do maths for 14 notes

So are you telling me that Harry had more Voldemort than Voldemort had Voldemort? 

So are you telling me that Harry had more Voldemort than Voldemort had Voldemort? 

queeraddictedto:

thedoctor-hasmysoul:

night-vale-secretpolice:

night-vale-secretpolice:

When I used to think about Voldemort’s horcruxes I imagined a soul divided in equal portions residing in the different horcruxes and Voldemort himself. I realised that this can’t be true in The Half-Blood Prince Slughorn describes making a horcrux as splitting ones soul in two. This means that when Riddle made his Diary into a horcrux he split his soul in half and physically removed one half from his body and placed it in the diary. This means that he only had half of his soul left when he made his next horcrux, Marvolo’s ring. This half would have been split in half leaving only a quarter in Voldemort’s body. This goes on and on the amount of soul remaining in Voldemort halving each time he makes a horcrux until he had only 1/128 or 0.78125% left in his body.  As shown in the graph above.  So next time you wonder why Voldemort could have done some of things he did, remember how little human he had left in him. I don’t know about you but I think that this is crazy.

Come on guys, I didn’t do maths for 14 notes

So are you telling me that Harry had more Voldemort than Voldemort had Voldemort? 

So are you telling me that Harry had more Voldemort than Voldemort had Voldemort? 

konorai:

kurakos:

learning languages is fun until i gotta do it for a grade

Learning new things in general is fun until I have to do it for a grade

anonryder23:

theangelshavetheconfetti:

thesassylorax:

erinkrystynax:

crimewave420:

2chaaaain:

grates:

please someone reassure my this is just fuckin  w people right.

this is bullshit what the fuck

Wait y’alls cups are really that small? holy fuck

why the fuck anyone needs 1.3L of coke in one sitting is beyond me but anyway

Wow.

Your cups are really that big? You tryna drown?

Our small is still bigger than Australia’s large.

anonryder23:

theangelshavetheconfetti:

thesassylorax:

erinkrystynax:

crimewave420:

2chaaaain:

grates:

please someone reassure my this is just fuckin  w people right.

this is bullshit what the fuck

Wait y’alls cups are really that small? holy fuck

why the fuck anyone needs 1.3L of coke in one sitting is beyond me but anyway

Wow.

Your cups are really that big? You tryna drown?

Our small is still bigger than Australia’s large.

chronic-genderbender:

They were waiting for a chance to get away with this joke and they found it

bennybemycumberbatch:

carpe-hana:

#this is it this is american television

My single most favorite 1 minute and 54 seconds of television ever

sundaymornincomindown:

veganrantss:

White people get mad when you wear a band t shirt of a band you don’t listen to, but they’re fine with wearing headdresses from cultures they know and care nothing about.

oh damn

shertockhotmes:

tawdrysquid:

finalproblem:

Of course “Mary Watson” was good enough for her, John.

THAT’S WHAT SHE WAS AFTER THE WHOLE TIME!

She could’ve chosen any name in the world, but she chose Mary Elizabeth Morstan. Then she married a man with the last name Watson.

I SEE THROUGH YOUR LITTLE SCHEME, MARY.

Because I noticed the thing Sherlock overlooked because he was too focused on the “liar” deduction.

Mary is a cat lover.

And now her initials are “MEW.”

———

[Happy #Reichencrack Day! This is a #reichencrack theory.]

This is my favorite cracktheory of the day.

This isn’t a crack theory this is obviously her intent
rj4gui4r:

Kiss in front of the Eiffel Tower at the Paris meetup…

rj4gui4r:

Kiss in front of the Eiffel Tower at the Paris meetup…

pebbles5ever:

hypno-angex:

suklaaaa:

bunnyinafez:

iwantfitbody:

madamedepompador:

winchesterwolves:

moniker-padacklyte:

zillystring:

wasereborworthit:

mellowminty:

pizzaforpresident:

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

what about alaska

are we then normal canada

canada a bit to the left

image


What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?

image

image

i cried my ass of laughing

image

WARM CANADA

i caN’T BREATHE OH MY GOD

I’m not even from Canada but I approve this change of names

image

foxinu:

creepyold-kit-hands:

coelasquid:

throughthewildblue:

You cannot buy electronics with food stamps. You cannot buy cigarettes with food stamps. You cannot buy pet food with food stamps. You cannot withdraw money with an EBT card (food stamps).

Do you know what else you can’t buy with food stamps? Shampoo, soap, laundry detergent, toilet paper, paper towels, tissues, tinfoil, plastic sandwich bags, toothpaste, cleaning products, tampons, pads, over the counter medications (such as Tylenol, Ibuprofen, etc.), and anything else you can think of that you cannot physically ingest for nutritional purposes.

Do you know what you can buy with food stamps? Food.

Do you know what it’s like to scrounge for change to buy non-edible necessities, use a credit card and EBT card (food stamps) during the same transaction, and then have the person in line behind you judge you for buying the ingredients to make a birthday cake?

People who disseminate false information about food stamps have never had to use food stamps.

Okay, but let’s talk for a second about how that one lady called turkey “big chicken”

You can’t even buy all food with food stamps. You just… you flat-out can’t buy “food that will be eaten in the store/any food sold for on-premises consumption” or any “hot foods” with food stamps—meaning you can’t buy anything hot, you can’t buy anything that gets blended together, you can’t buy anything “pre-prepared,” in most cases you can’t use your EBT card at restaurants. You literally CANNOT purchase a milkshake with food stamps, because it’s considered “sold for on-premises consumption” (which was ridiculous at the place I worked, because the customer had to mix their own milkshake themself with a little machine we provided them, and several people got upset—rightfully so, I think—that it wasn’t covered under food stamps, because they often only found out at the register after already mixing it, often as a treat for their kids). You literally can’t walk into a gas station, grab one of those hot dogs off their grills/out of the little heated food area, and buy it with food stamps, because it’s hot.

And when I say “can’t,” I don’t mean “if the cashier notices you trying and cares enough to stop you, they’ll refuse to do it for you.” I mean “it is actually impossible to do this.” I’m not even sure these people who disseminate false information about food stamps have paid any attention at all when buying things at the store, because what happens is: We scan in the customer’s items, into our computer. The computer has specific codes for the items and rules for what it will let you pay for things with. We scan the customer’s EBT card, and it tells us exactly how much of that price total can be paid for via EBT, and it will not include anything that isn’t food, and it will not include anything considered “pre-prepared” food. It does this automatically AND THERE IS NO OVERRIDE FOR IT. If our machines say that you can’t use the EBT card to pay for something, there is literally nothing we can do to change that, even if we WANTED to.

So no. You can’t buy iPads or cigarettes with food stamps. You can’t withdraw money from casinos or anywhere else with food stamps. You can’t buy dog food with food stamps; sometimes you can’t even buy people food with food stamps. I’m not even sure if you can buy “the big chicken legs” at Disney with food stamps; remember, you can’t buy “any food sold for on-premises consumption” OR any hot foods, and that’s both.

Literally the only thing these fearmongers listed that you can actually purchase with food stamps even if you are in goddamn cahoots with the evil liberal cashier or store manager is soda, and the judgement against people buying that with food stamps is classist fuckwittery at its finest.

So, as always, Fox News is actually flat-out lying, and hateful conservatives both don’t know what they’re talking about and don’t give a fuck about people going through shit that they will never have to go through themselves, and that they in fact don’t have even the tiniest clue about (not even via five seconds’ research; a list of things that can’t be purchased with food stamps is on the Food and Nutrition Services website) but still think they should spout off about to their TV audience anyway.

oh my god. the big chicken leg.

TURKEY. “big chickens” are TURKEYS.